


UNEXPECTED

by kingstoken



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M, Mild Language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-30
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2019-01-26 20:18:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 8,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12565376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingstoken/pseuds/kingstoken
Summary: God, thought Merle, how could such a little bit of a thing make so much noise.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> In this fic Lori survives child birth and Merle survives his encounter with the Governor. I know it is a very uncommon pairing, but I read a fic where the author paired them together, and I felt this was something I wanted to try. It may be a bit of a challenge, I haven't watched any episodes with Lori in a long while, so hopefully this isn't too OOC.

It bounced off the walls and traveled to every corner of the prison. No one was getting any rest tonight. God, thought Merle, how could such a little bit of a thing make so much noise. Whenever the baby paused for breath, he could hear Rick and Lori arguing, what they were arguing about he wasn't sure, but he thought he heard Shane's name being thrown about. Things had been tense between Rick and Lori for a long time now, it was one of the first things he noticed when he rejoined this group. Everyone hoped things would get better now that the baby was here, but they were obviously wrong. Oh man, there she goes again, and it it sounded like her volume had increased, as is that was even possible. Merle got up from his bunk and left his cell. His wasn't much for interfering in other people's business, especially officer friendly's, but god damn, this was getting ridiculous. 

Rick and Lori were at the other end of the cell block. Rick paced away from her and when he turned back Merle was standing in front of Lori. 

"What the ...? Mind your own business, Merle."

"Fraid I can't do that." Rick got right up into his face.

"That is my wife, and my child."

"No sir, that's Lori and that's little Jude, who, by the way, is screaming loud enough to alert everything living and dead within a 10 mile radius." Rick got a strange look upon his face, as if this was the first time he was actually hearing the baby's cries. Then it was like Merle could see the anger drain out him, he was shaken.

"I'm sorry" said Rick "I'm sorry" he repeated to Lori, then he turned and walked out of the cell block. Beth seemed to appear out of nowhere and scooped up Judith, trying to soothe the child, taking her into her cell. 

"Merle" said Lori

"Yeah."

"Thank you."

"No problem, sweet cheeks" She rolled her eyes at him as she turned away to find her child. Well, he couldn't have her thinking he was too good now could he.


	2. Chapter 2

Later that night, after Daryl finished his watch shift, the rest of the group gathered for a meeting. Lori, Judith and Carl where down for the night, thank God the kid had been out with Daryl during his parent's fight, and Rick still hadn't returned. Everyone was talking about what happened, but nobody was getting at the heart of the matter. As loathe as he was to say something, because he never knew how this group was going to react to him, he felt he had to or they were going to talk in circles all night, and he needed some god damn sleep.

"Look, somethings got to be done about this situation"

"I agree" said Sasha "but what? It's not like before, when you could pack Lori up and move her across town. We're all confined to this place."

"Supervised visits" said Carol.

"What?" responded Sasha.

"That's what would have happened before, supervised visits. One time when I was thinking of leaving Ed a counselor told me he would be granted visitation, but that someone would always be present to make sure he did nothing bad."

"Carol's right" declared Herschel.

"That ain't fair" Daryl said, contributing for the first time "Rick would never hurt Lil' asskicker."

"No, but he might hurt Lori" asserted Merle, throwing Daryl a meaningful look, they both knew how ugly some men could get with their wives.

"Alright then" said Herschel "does everyone agree that Rick and Lori are not to be left alone together." Everyone nodded their heads.

"Okay" he continued " in the morning half of us will talk to Rick, the other half to Lori."

When the morning came Merle somehow ended up in the group talking to Rick. Although with the dark looks Rick kept throwing at him he wished he had been in Lori's group. Thankfully Merle didn't have to say anything at all. Herschel did most of the talking, he had a way with Rick, he listened to him. Overall, it went better than Merle expected, although he could still see his anger under the surface, Rick agreed to their conditions. Daryl told him it had been much the same way with Lori, he said she actually seemed relieved.


	3. Chapter 3

There were a few missteps, but they soon got into a routine. Because Rick spent most of his days outside or in other parts of the prison it was decided that someone should stay with Lori in the evenings, and more often than not that turned out to be Merle. It made sense really, the others had to take turns at kitchen duty, that being one of the things Merle was no longer proficient at, the limitations of one hand and all. So, Merle spent most evenings sitting next to Lori in the dining area, trying to push a little more food on her plate. In his opinion she didn't eat enough, she looked pale and week. From what he heard the kid's birth had been rough, she missed most of the confrontations with Woodbury because she had been hold up in bed recovering.

After supper they would usually go to Lori's cell. Beth or Carol would come and get Judith and take her to spend time with her father. Lori would sit on her bunk with a book in her lap and Merle would sit in an old lounge chair they found with his feet propped up on a storage box she used to keep the baby's things in, and Merle would just talk, about everything and nothing. Talking was never a problem for Merle, he could be silent when he needed to be, but there had been a lot of people through the years that told him he ran his mouth too much. Then someone would bring the baby back and Merle would leave to let Lori get her settled down for the night, but he would stand outside her cell making sure everything was safe. The first few nights when Rick saw him standing there he threw him dirty looks, but he never tried anything.

Merle chattered on for about a week before one night Lori said to him

"Merle, shut up." She smiled at him to take away the sting. That's when Merle realized he'd been talking at her, instead of to her.

"Alright, honey buns, alright." After that things were easier between them. Merle didn't feel the need to incessantly talk to fill up the silence. Some nights they would both read quietly. Some nights they chatted and some nights Merle would catch forty winks in that chair before he went on his watch shift.


	4. Chapter 4

"Hey, what are you always writing in that notebook?" Merle noticed that many evenings she would pull out this spiral notebook and scribble down a few lines. Lori hesitated to answer.

"Ah shit, its not like a private dear diary thing is it?"

"Yes, well no." Merle raised an eyebrow in question.

"It is private, but it's not a diary exactly. Its for Judith when she gets older, I'm writing down memories."

"Like family memories?" 

"Some, but mostly what the world was like before. She'll never know a world different from this one." Lori was sad, her sadness made Merle uncomfortable.

"You know what I miss most about before? Pizza delivery. Daryl and I we never lacked for meat, but there are only so many venison steaks and jerky a man can eat. And, there is nothing like a hot, cheesy pizza when you got the munchies." Lori picked up her pen and started writing again.

"What are you writing now?" asked Merle.

"I'm telling Judith all about pizza delivery."

Every night there after Merle tired to tell Lori something that she could put in Judith's book, things he missed about the old world and things he didn't. The more memories he shared the more he revealed about himself, without intentionally meaning to. Lori would share memories too, although she rarely touched on her marriage with Rick.

"I used to love Christmas" she said one evening "I would cover the whole house in Santas and reindeer, it used to drive Rick nuts. It was for Carl's benefit obviously, but also for mine. I always felt that was the one time of year where all things seemed possible. I got depressed in January when we had to take all the decorations down."

"It sounds real nice. Christmas was always a disaster at our house growing up. My Mama would try, but my son of a bitching father would always ruin it. When I was real little Mama would take me to my grandmother's house Christmas Eve. She would make me hot chocolate and let me stay up late to watch movies. Yeah, Grandma's was always the best part of Christmas. Daryl doesn't remember any of that, he was a little older than Judith is now when Grandma died."

"I'm sorry, Merle"

"Hey, ain't nothing to be sorry about, that's just how life goes." She gave him a sad smile in response.

A few weeks later, when he was out on a run with Daryl, he found a small plastic Santa in a picked over hardware store. He brought it home and gave it to Lori.


	5. Chapter 5

One day a few of them were sitting around the common area.

"Merle, I've got to go to the bathroom. Can you watch Judith for a minute?"

"Sure." Lori settled Judith on Merle's lap.

"Okay Judith be good for your uncle Merle, I'll be back in a few minutes." A few heads swiveled as she said that. Merle adjusted his arm around Judith, securing her position, she couldn't really sit up on her own yet. When he looked up Daryl was giving him a look.

"What?"

"Uncle Merle?"

"Shut the fuck up. Your just jealous because she didn't call you uncle Daryl." Daryl got closer to Merle and lowered his voice.

"There's nothing going on between you and Lori is there? Because Rick wouldn't like it."

"First of all, officer prick can go fuck himself. Second, I'm red blooded man, if she makes a move I'm taking her up on it, but she hasn't made a move. And thirdly, y'all put me on babysitting duty and now your upset that we're getting friendly." Merle had gotten louder as his tirade went on, and Judith started to fuss. Merle bounced her on his knee to distract her.

"Hey, I was just trying to warn ya is all" said Daryl "Do you want someone else to take over 'babysitting Lori' as you call it."

"Hell no, Lori's beginning to trust me, and it's a lot better than some other shit jobs in this place." Daryl let the subject drop, and Lori returned shortly there after to claim Judith and put her down for her nap.

Later that night when Merle went to Lori's cell to take her down to dinner Carol was there.

"I got it tonight, Merle." 

"Really? I thought..." he looked over to Lori who was avoiding his gaze "well alright then. I'll see you down there." He thought something was wrong, but he couldn't put his finger on what. During supper he started to second guess himself, maybe she just wanted to spend time with Carol, they were really good friends after all. He put the issue out of his head and played cards with Daryl after supper.

Merle didn't question things again until the next evening when Carol told him that Lori had come down early, got her meal and taken it back to her cell. Okay, something was definitely wrong. Never being one to let sleeping dogs lie, Merle went to Lori's cell to find out what was going on. Lori was sitting in the chair eating some stew. Little Jude was laying on a blanket on the floor.

"Lori, what's going on?"

"Everything's fine Merle, I just didn't feel like eating with everyone else tonight."

"And you couldn't just tell me that, you had to send Carol."

"Look Merle, you don't need to babysit me. I can look after myself."

"Shit. You heard me say that."

"Yep."

"Fuck me. Lori, what I said wasn't what I meant."

"Your afraid your going to lose your cushy position. Well, I'm sure Herschel can find something for you to do that doesn't suck. I'll ask Beth or Maggie if they want to take over Lori duty."

"I ain't afraid of hard work, I'll do anything I have to. But, I don't want to do anything else with my evenings except stay with you. I like being with you, I like our conversations."

"That's not what you said to Daryl."

"For Christ's sake, woman. I can't say that to Daryl."

"Why not?"

"Because he's my brother. We don't talk about feelings and shit." Lori let out a small chuckle.

"Merle that's screwed up."

"What can I say? Do you want me to track Daryl down right now? Tell him I like you, and that were friends. Cause I'll do it."

"No, it's fine. But, I'm still mad at you."

"That's alright, sweet pea, be as mad as you like, for as long as you like" said Merle as he stretched out on the floor next to Judith, making the little girl giggle.


	6. Chapter 6

One night, after about 4 months of 'supervised visits', Rick showed up at the door of Lori's cell. Merle jumped up.

"Hey man, you know the rules."

"Rick, where's Judith?" Lori asked at the same time.

"Judith is with Beth. I don't want to cause any trouble, I just want to talk to you, alone if that's okay." Merle looked to Lori.

"It's alright, Merle."

"Okay, I'll be just down the hall, but if I hear anything suspicious I'll be back here real quick" he said, giving Rick a hard stare as he left. Merle went over to the perch where Daryl was cleaning his crossbow. His face was openly curious.

"Ricks with Lori"

"You okay with that?"

"Hell no, but it was Lori's decision. I'll be ready, just in case." Merle kept watching Lori's cell door. It seemed like Rick was in there a long time, but Merle never heard any raised voices. After about what Merle figured was an hour Rick finally left. Merle went to Lori's cell immediately. She was sitting on her bunk trying to wipe away tears.

"Shit, what did that asshole say to ya?"

"It's fine Merle, really. It wasn't anything terrible. It's just ... it's over. I knew it was over for months, but it still hurts" she said tears trailing down her cheeks.

"Ah, come here" he said sitting beside her and pulling her into an embrace. She cried upon his shoulder. Lori soon exhausted herself, Merle laid her down and covered her with a blanket. Merle went to check on a few things, then he stretched out in the chair the best he could. He must have dosed off because the next thing he knew Lori was calling his name.

"Merle. Merle, where's Judith?" Merle came awake.

"Hey, no worries, Beth has Judith. she said she'd keep her for the night, if that's okay. I checked on Carl too, he's down for the count." It was dark in the cell, there was some moonlight behind him coming from the bay of windows across the way, but Lori just looked like a dark shape to him. He reached or the candle holder and matches, striking a match and lighting a candle. Lori blinked her eyes justing to the light.

"How you feeling?" he asked.

"Drained, but better. Sorry about your shirt."

"Don't worry about it, its nothing a good wash won't fix."

"And thank you, for checking on Judith and Carl."

"No problem." They were silent for a long time, so much so that Merle was thinking about suggesting Lori go back to bed. When Lori finally spoke it was unexpected.

"You never asked me about him."

"Who?"

"Shane."

"It was none of my business. Plus I figured I knew all I needed to know. When I first met you Shane was your man. We all knew Carl wasn't his, but that wasn't an unusual situation. When I rejoined y'all you were with Rick. Daryl filled me in on the details, at least the ones the group was aware of." 

"They probably knew mostly everything. It's hard to keep a secret around this group.

"Yeah."

"That was the beginning of the end of my marriage, me being with Shane, although I didn't know it at the time. I thought Rick was dead. I know I should have probably waited longer, but the world went to shit, and I was alone with Carl. Ugh, I'm not explaining this right" she said, running her fingers roughly through her hair.

"You don't have to explain it at all."

"I want to." After a moment to compose her thoughts she continued.

"The thing you got to understand is, that before, Shane was always around. Rick and him had been best friends since they were teenagers, he was Rick's partner on the force. He came to Christmas dinner, birthday parties. He was a member of the family. So, when everything went so terribly wrong, it just felt natural to turn to him. It was easy, and maybe that was the problem. I should have been stronger."

"Bullshit. Your stronger than you think. You and Carl needed to survive, and you found a way to make that happen. Rick shouldn't fault you for that." Lori smiled for the first time that night.

"Thank you, Merle."

"You don't need to thank me for stating the truth." A few minutes passed.

"I should go back to bed. You know, that chair can't be that comfortable, you can lay down here."

"Why Miss Grimes are you inviting me to bed" said Merle, giving her a leer.

"Not for that" she responded.

"I'll tell you what, I'll take the top bunk." He blew out the candle, climbed into the top bunk and settled in, when a thought occurred to him.

"I just realized something, your name won't be Grimes anymore."

"Yeah, but it would be easier for Carl if I just kept it."

"Sure, but what was your maiden name?"

"Scott." Lori Scott, thought Merle, he liked it.


	7. Chapter 7

It was one day in late summer when an explosion rocked the prison. Merle ran to the windows seeing the Governor with a small army and a tank. Shit, he should have known that bastard wouldn't stay away. People were gathering in the courtyard, Daryl was one of them. Merle started toward the entrance.

"Merle, what's going on?" Dammit, Lori and the baby, they needed him, but Daryl needed him too, shit, shit, shit.

"Merle?" Lori repeated anxiously. Merle turned around.

''Lori the Governor's outside."

"He's here? Now?"

"Go Grab a few things for you and Jude."

"But..."

"Remember the plan, if anything were to happen we evacuate the prison. Once things settle we can always come back." But even as he said that he doubted it was the truth. While Lori was packing Merle rushed to his cell. He threw on a shirt over his tank top. He grabbed his spare knife and pistol and put them into his utility belt, he had difficulty getting it on one handed so he just tossed over his shoulder for now. When he went out to the common room he selected one of the remaining rifles slinging it over his head and across his back, then he snatched a plastic army canteen on a long strap putting that across his body as well. Merle didn't have a lot in way of personal possessions so gathering supplies took him only a few minutes, during which it was quiet outside, but then the noise began. There was definitely a fight going on and he needed to be there. He'd get Lori and Jude on the bus, then he'd help Daryl. Merle ran to Lori's cell, she was stuffing things into the baby's bag. Judith was strapped into her carrier, she wasn't used to it, she kicked her feet and cried with all her might.

"Lori, we got to go."

"I know, I know" she snapped at him. Looking at him she saw the belt slung over Merle's shoulder, she helped him secure it around his hips.

"Merle, what about Carl?"

"He's will Rick."

"Out there?"

"We'll look for Carl after, first we got to get Judith to safety." She nodded her head in agreement. Then she turned ripping a sheet out of her notebook, scrawling a quick message before putting the notebook in the outside pocket of the baby's bag. Merle quickly read the message _Carl, we've gone with Merle_. When he looked up Lori was ready to go, She had a backpack on her back, the baby's bag slung across her body and was holding Judith's carrier. God, she weighed down, but he supposed babies needed a lot of things. The noise from outside was increasing.

"Come on." When Merle and Lori emerged from the prison the courtyard was absolute chaos. The tank had advanced upon the prison destroying the outer fence letting walkers in. Merle saw the bus on the far side of the courtyard. He slashed through the walkers that were beginning to trickle in, making a path for Lori and the baby. But, before they could reach it the bus pulled away. Shit. He still needed to get Lori to the back gate. He looked over his shoulder, Lori was struggling, the baby carrier in one hand and a knife in the other, but together they pressed forward. At one point he swore he could see Daryl's angel wings, he called out but couldn't be heard over the noise. Finally Merle and Lori escaped through the back gate unto the the dirt road. Merle immediately lead them into the trees out of sight. They took a moment to rest, both breathing heavily. Merle looked back at the prison, there was fire and a great deal of black smoke billowing into the sky. He glanced at Lori, tears were gathering in her eyes. 

"Carl" she said " I saw with Rick."

"Good. Rick will protect him. We've got to move." They traveled along the roadside, staying within the trees. Merle kept searching the road looking for fellow survivors, he became disconcerted when he wasn't finding any.

"Merle, I gotta stop for a moment, my arm feels like its going to fall off." Merle could hear the shuffles and moans in the trees.

"It ain't safe." Up ahead on the road he saw something, an abandoned car. He signaled that Lori should follow. They checked it out, no walkers inside. Merle pried open one of the rear door, helping Lori and Jude inside, then he went to close the door.

"Wait, where are you going?"

"Were losing daylight. I got to find us some shelter."

"But, the others."

"I"ll find their tracks in the morning."

"Just give me a few minutes to rest and we'll come with you."

"No. I can move faster on my own. You stay here, protect little Jude" he said closing the car door. Merle remembered there was a house back here somewhere, Daryl and him had searched it one time on a run. Merle got his bearings and tried to remember the location of the house. It took him a lot longer then he'd like to admit to find it, and when he did it was in a lot rougher shape than he expected, but it would have to do. Merle made his way back to Lori. There were a few walkers loitering around the car, he dispatched them quickly. 

"I found a place." Lori followed Merle as quickly as she could through the forest in the falling light. Thank God Judith had tuckered herself out, falling asleep in her carrier. The woods were active enough without her attracting the walkers to their location. They finally made it to the house just as the sun was disappearing beyond the horizon. Merle had swept the place earlier, but he did it again to ensure that walkers hadn't taken up residence in the mean time. When he was sure he let Lori in past the front entrance, he shut the door and pushed what looked like an old dining room table in front of the it. Lori looked around, not that there was much to see, there was just an old ratty couch sitting in the middle of an empty room. She put Judith down, dropped her stuff and flopped down on the couch. Merle sat down at the other end. They both sat there in the gathering shadows, because neither of them had thought to bring candles or a lantern. She heard Merle unbuckling the straps on his prosthetic, and the sigh he released as it hit the floor. They were both too exhausted to do anything but sit there, and soon darkness overcame the room.

"Merle."

"Hmm."

"Thank you, for helping us out of there, I know you would have rather been fighting along side Daryl." 

"I couldn't leave you there, I know what it's like to be left behind." After a few minutes of silence he said "We better get some sleep, it's going to be a long day tomorrow." So, Lori closed her eyes trying to think of something other than destruction, the Governor and her little boy being lost out there somewhere.


	8. Chapter 8

Lori was woke the next morning by Merle shaking her shoulder. She had a terrible crink in her neck from sleeping in an awkward position all night.

"Lori, Jude's starting to fuss." It was then that she became aware of the whimpering noises Judith was making, she wasn't crying, but she would be soon. She got up, released Judith from her carrier, then settled her at her breast to nurse.

"You didn't happen to bring any food did ya?" asked Merle.

"Just some of Judith's baby food."

"Alright I'll see if I can catch us some grub while I'm out there."

"Wait, your going out there alone?"

"Lori I can't track with a baby in tow."

"But, what if ..." _you don't come back_ , she didn't want to think it, but it's always a possibility, especially now.

"If I ain't back by dark, in the morning take Judith and head back towards the road."

After Merle left and Judith had finished nursing Lori explored the house. What she was looking for she didn't know, but she needed to distract herself from her worrying thoughts about Carl. The placed was picked over, the only thing she found was an old matchbook shoved in the back of a kitchen cupboard. Merle returned at midday, he didn't say anything as she let him in and he lowered himself onto the couch. He looked tired. Lori tried to be patient, but eventually just blurted 

"Well?" Merle sighed.

"It's an absolute mess out there. every walker for miles is being attracted to the prison fire and there trampling everything" seeing the anxious look on Lori's face he continued "hey, I'll find them, it's just going to take longer than I thought."

"You didn't see any people?'

"Nope, just walkers. I tried to get as close to the prison as possible, then I worked my way out. The place is overrun, but most of our group would know enough to get the hell away from there, Daryl would. The question is which way did they go? Once I determine their direction tracking shouldn't be a problem. I do have some good news, I found us a better place. It's another house, but this one has a bed in it." Lori didn't like the idea of moving on, but she had to admit there was nothing for them here. After she fed Judith they left the house, heading towards the next one. Merle took Lori's backpack, so she wouldn't be so loaded down. After about an hours walk they came to a cul de sac with five houses. Merle headed towards the best looking one of the group.

"This is the one I searched, it's in pretty good shape. And, ya ain't going to believe this, but I found two cans of stew inside, so we won't be going hungry tonight." As Merle double checked the house Lori explored the first floor, there was furniture in every room, except or a thick layer of dust and grime, everything looked intact. As if the occupants had quickly gathered their things and left, never to return. Once Merle gave her the all clear she settled Judith on blanket on the kitchen floor.

"I found some twine in the shed out back, I'm gonna try and set some traps" announced Merle. So he disappeared for a few hours while Lori cared for Judith and looked for a can opener for the stew. She found one, dumped the stew in a pot, then used her new found matches to start a fire in the fireplace. When Merle returned he sniffed the air.

"God, that smells good. My belly's acting like it hasn't eaten in days instead of just one." He made himself comfortable in front of the fire, while Lori spooned out the stew into two bowls.

"How'd you start the fire?" asked Merle.

"Found some matches." They ate their fill, then made their way upstairs. Lori changed Judith then settled her on the bed. When Lori started to undo her boots Merle left the room.

"Hey, where are you going?" she called. Merle came back leaning against the door frame

"I'm going to crash in the couch."

"There's plenty of room here."

"Nah, I don't want to crowd you and Jude."

"Please Merle" she said softly "I'd feel safer."

"Alright." So they got ready for bed in the gathering twilight. They lay down with Judith between them, letting her breathing sooth them to sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

They must have switched positions during the night, when Merle woke up Judith had shifted down the bed, ending up between their legs, and Lori and him had moved closer together. Lori gave him a sleepy smile, and then she surprised him, she caressed his cheek then leaned in and kissed him. God, she tasted sweet. Merle gave himself just a moment to enjoy it before he pulled away. He sat up on the edge of the bed putting on his prosthetic. 

"You know you ain't gotta do that."

"Do what?" she answered.

"You ain't gotta make up to me. I got you and Jude to safety, that was my choice, I don't have to be paid for it. I'm not like Shane."

"You said you understand about Shane."

"I do."

"No. you clearly don't, because if you understood about Shane you'd realize this isn't the same situation."

"Isn't it? Once again everything's gone to shit and you've found yourself alone with your kid. So, you attach yourself to the nearest alpha male, which just happens to be me."

"You know what? Fuck you, Merle" she said yelled from the other side of the bed. This must of scared Judith, because she started to cry. Lori scooped her up, trying to sooth her.

"Get out" she said, when he didn't move she yelled "Get out" again. As Merle left the room she slammed the door behind him, she opened it again a moment later threw his boots out into the hallway and slammed the door closed again. Merle took a couple of deep breaths then he sat at the top of the stairs, pulling his boots on. He could hear the muffled sounds of Lori trying to calm down Judith. Well shit, he might as well get on with his day.

He checked the traps first, he had caught one rabbit. He left it in the kitchen sink for Lori, then headed out again to track. While he was out there he kept thinking about their argument. Why couldn't he have kept his mouth shut. He could've been getting laid right now. It had been a long time for him, the last time had been a one stand back in Woodbury. Candy he thinks her name was, she'd had a fight with her boyfriend and come to old Merle for a little revenge sex. God dammit, what was wrong with him, why didn't he just keep going? He probably would have found the group by now if he didn't have to keep going back to her. But, this wasn't just some nameless chick, this was Lori and she was special. Man, pretty soon he was going to be as bad as Daryl mooning after Carol. 

As the day grew short he headed back to the house. Lori barely looked at him when he entered the kitchen, she was cutting up the rabbit. Judith was on the floor trying to crawl off her blanket. 

"Hey, can we talk for a sec?"

"Sure" she said. She tossed the rabbit pieces into a pot, wiped her hands, then turned to face him, leaning back against the kitchen sink. Merle turned one of the kitchen chairs around and sat down. They stared at each other for awhile, Merle figured he should start. 

"Sorry, about this morning. I shouldn't have brought up Shane."

"No you shouldn't have. So, why did you?"

"I don't know. When we kissed all this stuff started running through my head, like how you weren't really kissing me, you were just fulfilling a need." They sat in silence for a moment while she processed what he said.

"I'm sorry too, for screaming at you. I don't really have an excuse, except to say these past couple days have been pretty shitty and I've been worried sick about Carl."

"I guess were both sorry then."

"Look, there is a couple things I want to say. I am more than grateful for everything you've done for me and Judith, but I'm not trying to push you into being some sort of replacement husband and father. Secondly, when we're together I don't see Shane, I don't see Rick, I see you. I was well aware of who I was kissing this morning."

"Why did you kiss me?" Lori shrugged.

"Impulse."

"Shit, and I went and ruined it."

"Yes you did" she said giving him a smile "Come on, let's get this rabbit cooking" she picked up Judith putting her on her hip and she grabbed the pot, carrying it into the living room. "Can you get the matches? I think there in the side pocket of the backpack."

"Yes ma'am." He went over other backpack, the side pocket was long and skinny. He reached in but didn't feel the matchbook, it must of fell towards the bottom. He pulled everything out before finding it, when he went to put it all back in he realized one of he objects was the plastic Santa he had given Lori months before. He stared at it in disbelief for a moment, then put it back zipping up the pouch. He went into the living room handing Lori the matches.

"Thanks" she said, striking a match to light the kindling. Once the fire was going she placed the pot near the flames stirring occasionally. Judith was curled up on a couch cushion placed on the floor. 

"Lori."

"hmmm."

"Lori, when I was searching for the the matches I found your plastic Santa."

"Oh?" She didn't look at him, she just kept stirring.

"When you had to flee for your life why would you grab that of all things?"

"Because you gave it to me"

"Fuck." He rubbed his brow, thinking. "Lori, I want you to be honest with me, was today the first time you ever thought about kissing me?" Lori hesitated for a second.

"No, I thought about it at the the prison, but it never seemed right. I thought we'd have more time."

"Jesus Christ."

"Merle, stop freaking out okay. It was just me being foolish."

"If your a fool than I'm crazy."

"What?"

"Can you stand up for me for a sec?"

"Why?"

"Because I want to do this right this time." She stood up. He went over to her, cupped her chin with his hand and kissed her. He put everything he had into that kiss, he kissed like he should have that morning. Lori kissed him back, she caressed his face with one hand and then placed it behind his neck, the other hand she bunched in his shirt pulling him closer. They separated when a popping noise came from the pot on the fire. They were both breathing heavily, Lori rushed and grabbed the pot, pulling it away from the fire, stirring.

"I don't think it's burnt."

"I wouldn't care if it was." Lori looked away, shy all of a sudden. She separated the meat into two bowls, giving Merle one bowl, she took the other, sitting beside him.

"Merle, are you going to sleep in the bed with us tonight?"

"Do you want me to?"

"Yes."

"Then it's a hell yeah from me." Lori smiled at him, and then they ate their rabbit.


	10. Chapter 10

As few days had passed and Merle was trying to use his tracking skills once again. Things were good between Lori and him, really good. They hadn't had sex yet, at least not intercourse, which was frustrating as hell, but Lori said she had one baby already and she didn't need another. Merle had to admit that she had a point, as much as he liked Judith he didn't think he wanted any ankle biters of his own. It hadn't stopped them from having a little fun though, Merle knew a few things and Lori had seemed pleased.

They had settled into a routine, Merle would spend his days hunting and tracking, and Lori would look after Judith and cook whatever he caught. Daryl would probably laugh at him for playing happy families. Well, he would if Merle could find him. He knew Daryl was out there somewhere. Lori was also getting more and more worried about Carl. Every time he came back alone he could see the disappointment on her face. Last night he woke up to Lori crying. She had tried not to wake him, but he pulled her into his arms letting her cry upon his shoulder.

Over the last few days Merle had been following a series of different markings, they all seemed to lead to the train tracks, which didn't make any sense to him. There was nothing at the tracks and it was an open corridor where you'd be vulnerable to attack.. He decided to shadow along the tracks for awhile, and then he saw something that made everything else make sense.

* * *

When Merle returned to the house Lori greeted him at the door. She was disappointed again, but also curious because Merle had what looked like cardboard rolled up under his arm. Once Merle was settled Lori asked

"So, how was today?"

"You know how I told you about the footprints and the train tracks, and how I couldn't figure it out" Lori nodded "While today it all made sense" he said unfurling the cardboard.

_Terminus_

 _Sanctuary for All_

"Terminus. This is where the others went?"

"Can't be sure. I wouldn't trust it. It sounds like something The Governor would cook up. But, the question is, is this somewhere Rick would go?" Lori thought for a moment.

"Yes, I think so."

"And Daryl would follow wherever Rick went. Alright then, if this map is correct then it looks like a fairly straight shot east of here, four or five days journey. I'll get you stocked up on food then I'll go check it out. if their there I'll bring them back."

"Merle you are not suggesting that you leave us here alone for nearly two weeks" she asked incredulously.

"You'd be safe here. There is shelter, food and water. I'd leave you the rifle for protection."

"No, no way. I'd be worried sick. My nerves are already frayed, I don't think I can handle more. And, what if something happened to you? I'd never know."

"You don't got to worry about me, I'm a tough son of a bitch. But, I don't know whats out there. I don't know If I can protect you."

"We'll protect each other."

"No, Lori listen ..."

"No you listen" she said cutting him off "if your going to Terminus then we're going with you, end of story."

"God dammit"

Merle tried to talk to her after that, but she wouldn't discuss it any further. After supper Lori cooked up the remainder of the meat and started to pack up Judith's things, preparing for the journey, a journey Merle didn't want her to take. Merle thought about lighting out on her in the middle of the night, but he couldn't bring himself to do it, besides she would probably just follow him anyways. Later, when they were in bed together he could sense she was still awake. He spoke into the night

"I don't want you to go because I'm afraid I'll lose you."

"I don't want to lose you either" she replied "We've just found each other. But, if something happens I want to be with you." Merle turned onto his side wrapping himself around Lori, this might be their last night alone together.


	11. Chapter 11

Merle had originally hoped to make the journey in four days, it ended up being seven. Travelling with a baby meant frequent stops for feeding and changing. Plus, Merle didn't like them sleeping in the open, so a portion of everyday had to be spent finding shelter. The first night that hadn't been possible, they'd made camp in the woods with nothing but a string fence for protection. Lori had taken her turn on watch shift, but Merle couldn't bring himself rest. So, they had spent a sleepless night looking out into the darkness, tensing at every sound.

Merle also didn't like to travel on the rails, feeling too open and exposed, so they traveled along side, unless there was no other alternative. At one point they came across a train tunnel that had collapsed, forcing them to go around, which added extra time to their journey.

Merle figured they had to be getting close. The number of signs had increased, and if the maps were correct they should be there within less then a day. However, plans changed when Merle and Lori saw a great cloud of black smoke billowing into the air. 

"Is that Terminus?" asked Lori.

"Probably." Lori walked forward with renewed vigor.

"Whoa, wait up. Where do you think your going?"

"Carl could be in there."

"I know, I'll go check it out."

"We'll check it out."

"Lori, Judith" he said indicating the baby. Lori looked at Judith, then looked towards Terminus, clearly torn. She thrust the carrier towards Merle.

"You take care of Judith, while I go."

"No. No way, I do not have the proper equipment to feed this child." Lori hesitated for a moment "Lori, let me go do a little recon. I'll come back and tell you what I saw, then we''l make some decisions."

"Alright" she agreed with a sigh. They tired to find some place for Lori and Judith to hold up. They settled on a crevice within a rock formation, it wasn't much, but it was the best they could come up with.

Merle avoided the train tracks and made his way towards Terminus through the woods, trying to avoid the dead that were attracted by the smoke and commotion. He must of gotten close, but he never actually saw Terminus. He came across a clearing with a cabin and a group of people out front. He'd never been so happy to see this group of pricks in his whole life. 

"Hey, what's going on over there? You guys having a party and not invite old Merle."

"Merle?" said Daryl swinging around. Other members of the group lowered their weapons when they realized Daryl knew this man. Daryl surged forward, tackling Merle in a fierce hug. Merle felt tears sting the back of his eyes. He pounded Daryl on the back a few times, the only way he knew how to show him affection. Then Daryl pulled away.

"I thought ..."

"Hey man, you should know better than that, it takes a hell of a lot to kill a Dixon." Merle looked over at the rest of the group.

"Y'all, there are other survivors, and man are they going to be happy to see you."

Merle lead them back the direction from which he'd came. They introduced him to the ginger and his companions, and told him about their respective journeys to Terminus. When Merle got close he let out a whistle, a predetermined signal Lori and him had decided on, to let Lori know it was safe. As they rounded the corner Lori appeared with the baby. Merle didn't think he ever seen that particular look on Rick Grime's face, a combination of shock and happiness. He turned his head towards Merle for just a moment and said "Thank you" then Rick and Carl ran towards Lori. Lori gave Judith to Rick, Lori hugged Carl tightly and tired to smother the boy with kisses. Then the four of them shared a familial hug, clinging to each other as if they never wanted to let go.


	12. Chapter 12

The group decided to head out and try to get as far away from Terminus as they could. Lori stayed by her son's side, touching his hair, his shoulders, as if she was afraid that he'd disappear. At one point Merle wanted to ask Lori something, so he went up to her, placing his hand on the small of Lori's back and whispered in her ear. Lori responded and squeezed Merle's bicep. Seeing the interaction Rick raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"We got a problem?" Merle asked Rick.

"Nope."

They traveled til near dark finding a clearing to make camp. It was out in the open, which wasn't to Merle's liking, but at least they had a larger group. There was more people to be on look out, and Merle might actually get a decent amount of sleep.

After the group ate what little food they had, Rick and Lori had a moment alone, when Carl went to show off Judith to Abraham and Rosita. 

"I don't know if I said it, but thank you for saving her."

"You should thank Merle. I don't know if we would have made it out of there without him."

"I did." Rick was silent for a moment trying to figure out how to bring up the next topic. "So, you and Merle, uh?"

"Yeah, did you have an issue with it?"

"No. It's just, Merle Dixon, of all people?"

"He's a good man, under that gruff exterior." They ended up leaving it at that, because Carl returned with Judith. Merle was trying to find a smooth area to bed down for the night, he had just picked a spot, when Lori came over.

"Hey, where's Jude?"

"She's going to spend the night with her dad and Carl. They don't want to let her out of their sights, for which I can't blame them" she said as she unrolled her blanket placing it next to Merle's. "Besides, it will give me a chance to spend the night alone with my man." She gave him a smile.

"Oh yeah, and who's that?"

"Your my man, aren't you?" she tried to ask in a jovial tone, but the smile had slipped from her face.

"Of course I am, woman. I was just teasing ya." Her smile returned. Merle stretched out on his blanket and Lori laid down next to him. They listened as the camp settled down and grew quiet.

"Merle?"

"hmm?'

"Rick told me he thanked you."

"He did."

"And not to sound like a broken record, but thank you for everything you did for me and Judith. I'm really glad you came into our lives."

"If I had to do it over, I'd do it all again." They reflected on that for a moment.

"Merle, is it too soon to say I love you?" Merle found it hard to speak for a moment, he was choked up. Every few people in this life had ever loved Merle Dixon.

"No, it's not, because I love you, too." Then Merle gathered her into his arms and kissed her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's all folks! This turned out to be the longest fic I ever wrote, which wasn't my plan when I started this story. I will admit I got little stuck after they left the prison. I always had a end point in mind, but getting there took longer then I thought. Thanks to those of you who came back after every new chapter was added, and thanks to everyone who gave this pairing and this story a try.


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